Final Thoughts

I didn’t write in my journal again so I’ll just make up the last entry now.

I decided to leave early and not stay for the Temple burn. It was due to burn at 8pm which meant that I would have to sit through the blazing heat once more, something I was not looking forward to doing. Also take note that 4 out of our group of 6 had already departed. It was sad and somber and I wasn’t really feeling it. The Man burn was so insane that I really wanted to leave on a high note.

So I should probably describe how that went down.

Austin got a hold of some mushrooms from somebody and offered to split them with me. There weren’t a lot but I was excited regardless (mushrooms are my favorite). So Austin and I each took a drop or two of acid and ate the mushrooms as the sun was setting. We were alone now as the others decided to make their exodus before the Man burned in hopes of beating the crowd. I believe it to have been a mistake, but that’s their choice.

Austin and I had a fucking blast, but it would have been so much more special with everyone there together. A final send-off.

As we were walking toward the structure the mushrooms were kicking in. Visual distortions were taking place and we were giggling like school girls. The walk there seemed to take twice as long as usual.

We got there pretty early and had to wait over an hour before the Man was set to burn. We were up close in the sitting section. Those who came later were able to stand behind us. We had front and center seats, absolutely perfect view. Well I begin sipping on my water bottle and munchin’ on jerky and other snacks. This girl in front of me keeps eyeing me and I think she looks cute. Eventually she begins making out with some dude and I ignore her.

Suddenly I get a strong urge to urinate. Like, I really gotta go. I had drank 95% of my water bottle and now I was in trouble. I kept thinking that I should just piss in the bottle but I didn’t really want to draw attention and make a scene so I tried to make it through. Well, before the man burned they had a fire dance. The most incredible fire spectacle that I have ever seen. 30 or 40 guys and gals were twirling fire, throwing people on tops of shoulders, launching them in the air, spitting fire, throwing fire. Just sublime. And given our mental states, it was euphoric. I had a smile plastered the entire time.

All of a sudden the Man’s arms being to raise. It’s happening! But goddamn do I gotta pee! Fireworks begin and the structure begins to take flame. Each explosion from the fireworks makes me need to pee more. It’s literally causing me to do the pee dance and I’m squirming around, trying to hold my bladder. I’m sure it was a spectacle.

I finally say fuck it and turn to the gals to my right and ask if they’d be bothered if I piss in my bottle. They said go ahead as long as I don’t obstruct their view.

I try to be discreet and piss from my current sitting position but it’s a funny angle and it’s not going to work. I stand up on my knees and now everyone is looking at me, wondering what I am doing. I whip out my dick and begin the piss to end all pisses. I literally fill the ENTIRE fucking water bottle, and it’s a fairly large one. I’m sitting there with this huge shit-eating grin, smiling and laughing, all the while there are fireworks being set off, the man is up in flames, the man EXPLODES, and embers are flying through the sky.

It was the greatest moment of my life.

I’m sure the drugs had a lot to do with that perception, but fuck it.

But the greatest thing about it all was how everyone reacted. Because I was exuding pure joy and it was a comedic moment, everyone started busting up. And for the next half hour I kept catching people laughing and commenting. I couldn’t stop laughing for nearly the entire 30 minutes. It was a moment, and I hope to god someone captured it on video. It would be hilarious.

Well after the man burned we waited for the top ring to fall. It took another 35 or 40 minutes but finally it did and we all cheered. Austin and I decided to leave at that moment.

It was total bliss and everyone on our side of the Man had nothing but joy and laughter.

Apparently people on the other side of the Man had another experience altogether.

A man who was quite obviously tripping way too hard on acid ran into the flames and died. Thank god we were oblivious to this, as this would have sent us spiraling into depression. Not the way you want to end a euphoric week.

I didn’t find out until I returned home. I left early in the morning around 8am. I cried nearly the entire first 2 hours. Tears of joy and tears of sorrow. I did not want to leave. This place was a Mecca, a utopia. Who the fuck would want to leave that?

So I drive 10 hours back home after only getting a few hours of sleep. Oh yeah, and we did more acid after the Man and walked the playa for a few hours. Nobody was talking about the man who died. In fact, I’m quite sure most people were completely unaware. I’d wager that only 10% of the population knew about it, maybe less.

So the first thing I do when I get home is check reddit to see how everyone else’s burn was. I was feeling elated, tired and fatigued, but great nonetheless.

And all I see is negativity. Just hatred and stupidity and nonacceptance. The exact opposite of what I had just left. The “real” world had returned full force.

Fuck all you haters. Go fuck yourselves. If you can’t spread peace and love stay far away from me. If we encounter I will try to be civil but I want nothing to do with you.

I know that may seem harsh and hypocritical but I don’t want that. There’s no reason to be so mean guys. Have some fucking empathy.

But I digress.

I’m sorry the man died, and I don’t think it was intentional, but his death caused much pain to many people. I can’t imagine how it felt to see it first hand and I am so grateful I was spared that.

Others weren’t so lucky.

Rest in peace brother.

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